Alchemy and Embellishment

Alchemy

What's old is new again. AI is the new Alchemy, and the world has gone mad, as little workshops spring up all over the benighted web. Let's ignore the doom and gloom. Instead, we will poke around in the, now venerable, ChatGPT-3.5 and leverage that into a fun puzzle.

Let's start with a quotation, which may or may not have been out of the mouth of Paracelsus:

"The alchemists' greatest secret lies not in the creation of material gold, but in their understanding that true wealth resides in the alchemical process itself, the journey of transformation and self-discovery."

One might summarize this more succinctly:

"Ipsa scientia potestas est." - Sir Francis Bacon

Or:

Knowledge is power.

See what happened there? A bloviated quotation was reduced to its essence in three steps. Reduction is a chemical process. Rust is a manifestation of a type of reduction. So, our new puzzle is about transmutation. Instead of turning lead into gold, we change pithy into bloviation: changing a short, memorable quotation into gobbledegook.

To find big words as synonymous replacements, you could use WordHippo.com or any other online thesaurus. But I gotta tell you, using AI for this gives you a real sense of what alchemists got up to in their dank workshops! I wasn't just after ten-dollar word substitutions, although that is what got me started. I realized that a more challenging puzzle would be possible with total bloviation!

Embellishment

As constructors, we take the role of alchemists, with the singular goal of transforming simple sayings into sesquipedalian loquaciousness for our solvers to de-bloviate.

Mind you, we are more refined than wordsmiths of yore. They were but mere acolytes–at worst, tinkering with Tom Swifties; at best, synthesizing synathroesmus . We, the exalted ones, will vex our loved ones with our wordy witticisms, amuse our progeny with patriarchal jocularity and exercise our exuberance for excessive exposition.

Step 1. Gather Pithy Quotes

A theme helps your solvers get into the spirit of the puzzle. I used the morals from Æsop's Fables. ChatGPT was primed with a super-prompt called Quicksilver. I wanted to hyper-focus the bot on its expert roles.

Once we agreed that it should act as a Creative Writer, Literary Expert and Comedic Consultant, I told it what I was looking for. It asked for the random morals (the lazy slug!)

I wasn't about to manually collect 12 morals, so I asked Google's Bard to do it:

Here are Bard's dozen morals:

Don't judge a book by its cover.
Hard work pays off.
Don't be greedy.
Don't be too proud.
Be kind to others.
Help those in need.
Be honest.
Be brave.
Be patient.
Be wise.
Be humble.
Never give up.

These were great, especially the two-word morals. I wanted to see how well the ChatGPT bloviation team would handle them.

Step 2. Transmogrify Each Quote

I fed the 12 morals from Bard into the Quicksilverized ChatGPT. Here is the text of the response:

Excellent! Here are the bloviated and humorous quotations based on the 12 random morals from Æsop's fables:

1. "Thou shalt not hastily appraise a tome by its visage, for within the unassuming cover oft lies a saga of extraordinary nonsense and whimsy!"
2. "Lo and behold! Diligence and toil, like coins flung into the well of destiny, shall surely yield a magnificent fountain of success!"
3. "Beware the clamoring hands of avarice, for they grasp at golden apples, only to choke on the seeds of discontent!"
4. "Behold the peacock, its resplendent feathers raised to the heavens! But tread lightly, dear friend, for excessive pride may lead to a most undignified tumble!"
5. "In this grand theater of life, let your acts shine with the radiance of kindness, for even the smallest gestures can bring forth laughter and joy!"
6. "When the winds of fortune blow cold, extend a helping hand to those adrift in the tempest, for a buoyant spirit is a beacon of hope!"
7. "Verily I say unto thee, honesty is the key that unlocks the doors of trust, revealing a treasure trove of mirth and camaraderie!"
8. "Summon your inner lionheart, for courage shall be your shield against the slings and arrows of outrageous tomfoolery!"
9. "Patience, my dear interlocutor, is a virtue as rare as a phoenix's feather, yet possesses the power to turn fleeting moments into eternity!"
10. "Let wisdom be thy compass in the labyrinth of life, guiding thee past the snares of folly and leading to the shores of enlightenment!"
11. "Marvel not at the towering mountains of accomplishment, for they are built upon the bedrock of humble beginnings and humble socks!"
12. "When the night grows darkest and the road seems endless, persevere, oh valiant soul, for triumph awaits those who possess the stamina of a marathon-running tortoise!"

Holy cow! The experts channeled Paracelsus, although I think they pulled humble socks out of their collective hallucinations. I love the allusions to aspects of the morals that are not explicit in the list. Did you notice how #4 refers to the common misconception that pride goeth before a fall? Even if it misconstrues a concept, it still made the connection. Another allusion appears in #12, with the marathon-running tortoise.

I patted ChatGPT on its virtual back and, since it was on a roll, I asked its focused experts to bloviate the opening quote. The initial response was tepid, so I refined my prompt:

I was duly impressed.

Step 3. Unleash Your Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness On an Unsuspecting Assemblage

Presentation is everything! Give a brief example at the top of the page. List your best work. A dozen should be enough. Something about a list really grabs readers' attention (probably the numbers...)

Don't forget to include the pithy quotes as answers. If you're just showing off, you could present the list and answers together.

Just For You

I’ve added a printable Debloviation quiz for your enjoyment! The theme is Internet acronyms. ChatGPT and Bard were able assistants, but I edited and refined the quotations. TTYL!